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Breaking Free – Maria’s Journey to Health (Week 10)

Breaking Free – Maria’s Journey to Health (Week 10)

So after a couple of challenging weeks, I’m back to my normal eating plan and training – yay! I struggled a bit in the first days back & didn’t feel quite as strong, but that’s to be expected after being struck down by illness. But I’m back baby!

I will admit though, I did let the pain, frustration and anxiety make me a little miserable. But hey, you can’t fully appreciate the good times without experiencing the bad ones. So, when I think that I can’t handle a situation, I just need to remember that it can only go up from there, and the negative feelings I am experiencing in the moment – will only make the good times taste so much sweeter later on.

I’ve just spent the weekend with my partner, my family & catching up with friends. We went out for dinner for a friend’s birthday last night, and although it was at an Italian restaurant with double-loaded carb/fat meals aplenty, I took the more macro friendly option and chose the steak with mash. I also joined in for a celebratory drink with my vodka, soda and fresh lime, and skipped dessert. I am pretty proud of the choices I am making these days – only a couple of months ago my selections would have been soooo different. I’m not perfect, but I’ve come such a long way – being a lot more conscious about what I put in my mouth, and considering the effect that it will have on my body & state of mind.

Much to my surprise, I also felt a lot more comfortable and confident about being out – for the first time in a long time. A couple of months ago I would have probably avoided even being there – I would have felt self-conscious eating in a restaurant, and would no doubt have been upset by the possibility of hearing a nasty comment, or being crushed by a disapproving look. But, I didn’t feel like that last night… Now that I think about it, it probably has more to do with how I feel about myself at the moment – than the rude/cruel behaviour of others having magically stopped. I think that I just pay less attention to that sort of negativity now, and concentrate more on taking pride in knowing that I am working hard to lose the weight, to look after my body and to not abuse it.

I think my self-consciousness & embarrassment was in part a projection of the negative feelings I had about myself. Sure, I look a little different now – so that may have something to do with it – but back then I didn’t like myself very much – I loathed my weakness, my inability to control myself and my inaction. All I saw was failure & someone who’d given up on themselves – and at the time, I truly believed that’s all others saw in me…but in hindsight, maybe that’s all I showed them. I was ashamed of myself, in self-destruct mode and my own worst enemy – but that relationship has come a long way…We still have our battles, but there are a lot fewer of them; they’ve been replaced with more self-care, acceptance and nurturing these days. One day, there will be peace…

And as I learn to love myself more, I also become more open to others loving me. I remind myself daily of all the people who support & encourage me – and realise that I am not alone; that I have many who love & respect me, and that through my ups and downs I have people around me that will offer me a hand to get up when I fall. I continue to be touched & humbled by the amount of people who tell me that I have inspired them to change their lives, and that following my journey has given them the motivation to start and/or continue their own. It truly means so much to me, and gives me strength to move forward towards my goal…

In the last 11 weeks I have now lost a total of 27 kilos! I’ve also lost a further 4 cms off my body, bringing the grand total to 61 cms! Yay! But it’s the non-measurable results that now mean the most to me…

I’m learning to maintain the focus on me & the here and now…one step at a time. I won’t give up! I have fixed my sights on the challenge before me – and make an effort to psych myself up daily, to work towards my goal! Some days are better than others…and I realise that there will be many failures, obstacles, challenges & mountains to climb – but one by one I will fight to overcome them and come away stronger, healthier and wiser! There is a distinct difference between something that is difficult and something that is impossible; between being tired and being powerless; between being challenged and being defeated…

We need to continue to reach for our goals without fear; let’s face it – if we reach for nothing, then we’ll go nowhere…If you don’t like where you are at, make the change today…We got this!

The journey continues my friends!

If you too would like to change your life, or know someone close to you that may need that little push, enter yours or their details below for a free two week trial.

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Breaking Free – Maria’s Journey to Health (Week 10)

Breaking Free – Maria’s Journey to Health (Week 10)

Breaking Free – Maria’s Journey to Health (Week 10)

So after a couple of challenging weeks, I’m back to my normal eating plan and training – yay! I struggled a bit in the first days back & didn’t feel quite as strong, but that’s to be expected after being struck down by illness. But I’m back baby!

I will admit though, I did let the pain, frustration and anxiety make me a little miserable. But hey, you can’t fully appreciate the good times without experiencing the bad ones. So, when I think that I can’t handle a situation, I just need to remember that it can only go up from there, and the negative feelings I am experiencing in the moment – will only make the good times taste so much sweeter later on.

I’ve just spent the weekend with my partner, my family & catching up with friends. We went out for dinner for a friend’s birthday last night, and although it was at an Italian restaurant with double-loaded carb/fat meals aplenty, I took the more macro friendly option and chose the steak with mash. I also joined in for a celebratory drink with my vodka, soda and fresh lime, and skipped dessert. I am pretty proud of the choices I am making these days – only a couple of months ago my selections would have been soooo different. I’m not perfect, but I’ve come such a long way – being a lot more conscious about what I put in my mouth, and considering the effect that it will have on my body & state of mind.

Much to my surprise, I also felt a lot more comfortable and confident about being out – for the first time in a long time. A couple of months ago I would have probably avoided even being there – I would have felt self-conscious eating in a restaurant, and would no doubt have been upset by the possibility of hearing a nasty comment, or being crushed by a disapproving look. But, I didn’t feel like that last night… Now that I think about it, it probably has more to do with how I feel about myself at the moment – than the rude/cruel behaviour of others having magically stopped. I think that I just pay less attention to that sort of negativity now, and concentrate more on taking pride in knowing that I am working hard to lose the weight, to look after my body and to not abuse it.

I think my self-consciousness & embarrassment was in part a projection of the negative feelings I had about myself. Sure, I look a little different now – so that may have something to do with it – but back then I didn’t like myself very much – I loathed my weakness, my inability to control myself and my inaction. All I saw was failure & someone who’d given up on themselves – and at the time, I truly believed that’s all others saw in me…but in hindsight, maybe that’s all I showed them. I was ashamed of myself, in self-destruct mode and my own worst enemy – but that relationship has come a long way…We still have our battles, but there are a lot fewer of them; they’ve been replaced with more self-care, acceptance and nurturing these days. One day, there will be peace…

And as I learn to love myself more, I also become more open to others loving me. I remind myself daily of all the people who support & encourage me – and realise that I am not alone; that I have many who love & respect me, and that through my ups and downs I have people around me that will offer me a hand to get up when I fall. I continue to be touched & humbled by the amount of people who tell me that I have inspired them to change their lives, and that following my journey has given them the motivation to start and/or continue their own. It truly means so much to me, and gives me strength to move forward towards my goal…

In the last 11 weeks I have now lost a total of 27 kilos! I’ve also lost a further 4 cms off my body, bringing the grand total to 61 cms! Yay! But it’s the non-measurable results that now mean the most to me…

I’m learning to maintain the focus on me & the here and now…one step at a time. I won’t give up! I have fixed my sights on the challenge before me – and make an effort to psych myself up daily, to work towards my goal! Some days are better than others…and I realise that there will be many failures, obstacles, challenges & mountains to climb – but one by one I will fight to overcome them and come away stronger, healthier and wiser! There is a distinct difference between something that is difficult and something that is impossible; between being tired and being powerless; between being challenged and being defeated…

We need to continue to reach for our goals without fear; let’s face it – if we reach for nothing, then we’ll go nowhere…If you don’t like where you are at, make the change today…We got this!

The journey continues my friends!

If you too would like to change your life, or know someone close to you that may need that little push, enter yours or their details below for a free two week trial.

0 Comments

Leave a reply